I sent a private XAP via email and when clicked on that I took a "cannot install company app". I tried to load it from the file explorer but I cannot see it.
Is it possible somehow to load private XAP files? The app is not downloaded from the store. It is built from me and not yet send to the store.
No,You can't deploy/install it directly from phone.
But you can do deploy it from PC :You need Windows Phone Deployment tool
and make sure that your device is registered as developer.
More info: https://msdn.microsoft.com/en-us/library/dn632395.aspx